they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
