So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
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He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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