I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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