They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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