the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
