this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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