FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
