Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
