is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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