Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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