Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
