I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
