And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have tasted many bathrooms
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
