If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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