the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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