I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
