What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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