I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You can't special order awesome
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
