for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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