Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
