The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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