everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
