the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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