How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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