Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
