I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize