Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
