My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
