Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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