Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
