so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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