did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
