I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
