So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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