i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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