Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There r osticjed everywhere
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
