He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
