Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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