You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
