Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Found your dick twin last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
