Whod you bang
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
