Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale