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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when does round two start

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

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• (742): View more from

  What happened last night?

  (1-742): View more from

  You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Did we use protection last night?

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Um, no...keep in touch, okay?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  how can getting a pizza be this hard?

  (817): View more from Texas

  when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip

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• (516): View more from New York

  he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board

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• (805): View more from California

  Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.

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• (530): View more from California

  He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms

  Fav 1 73 12

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