My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.