im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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