this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize