At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
