All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
