hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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