if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
