JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
