He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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