I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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