So drunk, too bad you don't want this
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't deserve a penis
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
