so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
