You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize