You really coming over, don't trick.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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