After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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