I think i sorta joined a cult last night
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there's paper in my vomit.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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