Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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