We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
