I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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