Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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