just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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