i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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